A Shift in Perspective

How a Mexican Water Shaman Turned My Life Upside Down... In a Good Way.

Our society emphasizes achieving and accomplishing goals. We are encouraged to constantly act and do, driving our lives forward to glean lessons from the momentum. Yet, all the action makes us forget that the things that don't happen in our lives change us equally as the things that do. 

With such a focus on doing, we often resent the things we don't achieve, fail to do, or don't happen to us. It is a limited way of thinking, and we can benefit from a shift in perspective. We gain from recognizing that opportunities for growth exist in all aspects of life, even the less obvious ones. Though recognizing them can be challenging, such moments are blessings in disguise. They are gifts that shape our lives and influence us in profound ways. 

Let me explain this point of view by sharing a personal experience.

A Snake, an Egg, and a Shaman

On a recent trip to Lake Bacalar in Mexico, my family and I had the pleasure of meeting a lovely group of people, including a resident shaman. In exchange for my wife's artistic abilities—she painted a craggy piece of driftwood into a beautiful snake for the shaman's water altar—he offered a traditional ceremony, which we gratefully accepted.

During the ceremonial proceedings, between prayers and smudging, you pick an egg from a clutch the shaman placed on the altar at the beginning of the rite. The egg is rubbed on the body, imbuing it with your essence. Through transference, your energy imprints itself onto the yoke. All the while, the shaman bears witness to your egg-influencing energy and provides a predictive reading. He then cracks the egg into a glass of water, revealing the yoke and using it to confirm or deny his claims. 

I never could have anticipated the outcome of the ceremony. The shaman's prediction and Lili's egg flipped our perspective on life upside down, changing us forever. 

Ceremonial Proceedings 

Our boys went first. The shaman had little to say about them, as they were only two and three. Their yokes were clean, stable, and symmetrical, a sign of purity, representing youth and innocence.

Then, it was my wife Lili's turn, and the shaman stunned us with the news that she was pregnant with a girl. He cracked her egg into the glass of water as he'd done for the boys, and to our dismay, the yoke revealed a defined bump. The shaman pointed to it, “see, baby,” he said through the interpreter. We were stunned. I was in a daze as the shaman finished with Lili and moved on to me. The contents of my reading and egg don't have much context to this story, so I will skip it. If you want to know what the shaman said about me, write “Tell me more!” in the comments.

After the ceremony, we had a lot to process. We knew that Mother Nature would prove the shaman right or wrong in a matter of weeks. However, Lili had long held the vision of a baby girl coming into our lives, and we couldn't help but think, “Was she finally coming to be with us? Another baby? Really?” The news rocked us to the core. “What will we do if we are pregnant again?” we ask each other.

Reevaluation

We couldn't get the shaman's predictions off our minds, so we began to make a ‘what if’ plan. We were happy about adding a new member to our family. After the previous two NICU experiences with our boys, we resolved not to have more children, so we were fond of the possibility of an unexpected pregnancy. The prospect led us to reevaluate our current way of life, which we both agreed wasn't serving us in the ways we planned. We moved to Belize in search of simplicity but hadn't found it near the beach. We realized our priorities had changed. We wanted some acreage for the kids and dogs to roam, be self-sufficient, grow our food, and be closer to better services. We hadn't pulled the trigger for the same reason so many don't change their lives: the work. We had taken on a lot in recent years: two babies, a four-story home renovation, an international move, a home built from scratch, and a shuttle bus camper conversion. The thought of another move was daunting. Yet, we were willing to change if something significant called for it- like a baby. We resolved to make yet another shift in life. 

Mother Nature's Verdict

As Mother Nature would have it, the baby was not to be, but not before throwing us for another loop: Lili was five days late, which had never happened before. The whole time, we waited with bated breath. We grieved the loss, but only for a moment. Attachment to outcomes can be detrimental to one’s contentment, and my wife and I have been working to release it. Perhaps the universe was testing our progress. 

After holding space to feel the feelings, we could evaluate what this situation was trying to show us: there is positivity, even at the heart of disappointment. If you remain open and choose to see them, there are lessons in all things. Even though there wouldn't be a pregnancy, the event shook up life as if there was. Through the shaman, we realized our desire for change, to move into alignment with our current desires, and to live authentically.

A Symbol of Rebirth

When I think back to how events unfolded, Lili's painted snake becomes a glaring harbinger, especially in the context of Maya culture, the backdrop to this story. Her snake was at the forefront of the ceremonial proceedings, an event that sparked change in our lives. Snakes are revered by the Maya and seen as vehicles for celestial bodies, like the sun and stars, to move through the heavens. The serpentine process of shedding skin symbolizes rebirth and renewal—a fitting symbology for this story. Despite not having a baby come into our lives, we still experienced a birth: the birth of an idea, the birth of change.

Opportunities and Lessons: A Conscious Choice

Change lies within the most unexpected places. It can come from successes, failures, or, as in this case, neither. Significant change doesn't always need to spring from some sort of action. The things that don't happen can prompt considerable shifts in perspective that influence our life path, just as the things that do happen. 

On a practical level, nothing happened to us. Our situation stayed the same. A baby wasn't in the picture before or after the ceremony. We could have returned to the status quo, but we chose to look for the lesson and accept that the universe was attempting to speak to us through the events in our lives. With the shaman as a conduit for the message, the universe asked us to look critically at our lives and align ourselves with our desires and purpose. Moments like this are everywhere and happen to everyone all the time. It's just a matter of consciously tuning into them. It's a choice. Do you choose to look for the lessons? We did and realized that our current way of life didn't align with our desires. “Why did it take a baby to move ourselves toward what we want?” we asked ourselves. It didn't; that was just some imaginary constraint we placed on ourselves. We decide to remove the constraint. When we returned from Mexico, we immediately put our house up for sale and began to plan a new chapter.

Moments for Change

This situation revealed that every moment contains an opportunity for change. Within every occurrence, a lesson. We don't always need to be doing to learn. There is value in the things that don't happen. They are opportunities for growth and positive life change.

Next time something doesn't go your way, look for the lesson. The universe communicates in subtle ways. What's it saying to you? Here’s an example: Say you are looking for work but haven't landed a job. You could get down on yourself about it, or, adopting a new mindset, you could choose to see that the universe is allowing you to work on a passion project, one that could lead to better things. What you may need is best represented in not receiving that job. Better things are waiting for you on the other side of seeming disappointment. The perceived letdown is an opportunity to authentically align with your true nature.

If we shift our perspective and open our minds to the possibility that everything happens for us in some way, shape, or form, so-called failings are just another step in the right direction. They are necessary to find peace and contentment in our lives, as ironic as that may sound. With a change in perspective, we learn to appreciate everything life teaches us. 

When things don’t go as planned—like not getting the job—it’s an opportunity to take control and release the victim mentality. Think, “Things happen for me, not to me.” Using this language and way of thinking allows you to take accountability for yourself and exert your power over how your life unfolds.

The shaman didn't lie to us, although you could easily see it that way. The only thing the shaman did was prompt us to reconsider what we were doing with our lives. We could have been mad or upset, but instead, we found appreciation for the change in perspective he provided. 

While writing this, I remembered the lyrics from the song Dissecting the Bird by John Craigie. Towards the middle of the song, he sings:

So when the candle flickers, when the days get dark

They call them first-world problems, but they still break your heart

The universe feels like it's against you

Just take a minute to realize all it took to make you

Your parents had to meet, as random as that was

And hang out long enough, at least, to make some love

And make a baby, and give it your name

And all your ancestors had to do the same exponentially backwards to the start of life

So much had to happen, just exactly right

Sparks had to catch, oceans had to freeze

Billions of cells had to survive endless disease

Civilizations had to crumble, wars had to be fought

Bad presidents had to get elected, good presidents had to get shot

People had to leave, hearts had to get broken

People had to die, just so your eyes could open

The universe is not against you

The universe is not against you, it went through a lot

Just to give you a chance, it must've wanted you pretty bad

No pressure though, no pressure though

The universe went through a lot, but no pressure, bro

You don't gotta be perfect; you don't gotta be a saint

Just don't waste it; this was not a mistake

And I don't think the shaman made a mistake. Yes, he was wrong about the baby, but he was right about a change coming for us. That is why he tasked Lili with painting the snake. He got her to create the change. The universe worked through him to nudge us closer to alignment with our authentic selves by shifting our perspective. It's a valuable tool that prompts a different approach to ‘problems,’ encouraging you to look at situations differently. With this new perspective, we realized we didn't need a life-altering experience, like a pregnancy, to make a life change. We have the power to choose and control what happens in our lives.

So, if you feel stuck or upset at not achieving that thing, just ask yourself, “What is the universe trying to tell me?” It's probably telling you that, whatever that thing might be, it's not for you and that something else is. By not getting that thing, you will gain something with better alignment. With this reframed outlook, nothing can go wrong for you. Everything happens as it should, so there is no need to brood over perceived losses because there aren't any. There are only opportunities to reevaluate your desires and grasp what you value most.

Do you agree? Did this resonate with you? Do you have a similar event in your life? Has something that did not happen positively changed your life? I would love to hear your story, feedback, or perspective. 

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