I didn't go to Carleton, because it didn't really feel like home to me. (Just kidding—though I really didn't go there. I hope I can comment anyway.) I enjoyed this piece, Simo, and I thank you for adding another dimension to the discussion of home, which is obviously a topic that all of us who have moved struggle with.
I like the idea that home means commitment, but would ask whether commitment automatically leads to a sense of home. I have known people who married someone who they didn't really feel good about being tethered to, only to leave years later. I imagine that such relationships don't feel like home.
I think that maybe love should enter into the picture—when we really love a place (or a person), it is easier to commit. To love a person, in my view, is to be willing to make sacrifices for that person's well-being. Maybe the same can be said of love for a place. The hard work that you have done on your house, the hard work that you have put into raising your children, is all an expression of love, of wanting things to work out well. And when we feel that we are achieving that, maybe we feel a sense of home.
Hi Gregory, thank you for reading my piece and leaving such a thoughtful comment. I suppose commitment doesn't automatically lead to a sense of home, but I do feel it is a crucial first step. And, as someone in a second marriage, I agree with your analogy and concur that such a relationship does not feel like home.
While I only hinted at my thoughts on a longer-term commitment to a particular place (in a footnote at the end of the post), I recognize that commitments can change. Although I am coming to call Belize home, it will likely not be a 'forever home.' The winds of change will inevitably push my family and me in another direction; there is just too much world out there to be tethered to one place forever!
Indeed, love is an essential aspect of commitment, but again, I feel commitment comes first. To fall in love with someone, we must make some degree of commitment beforehand, even if it's as simple as agreeing to go on a date to get to know them. But, perhaps that's too simplistic.
What a tricky concept to pin down, eh? There are many angles to explore, threads to pull, and meanings to parse out. What a great topic of discussion!
I enjoyed this, thanks. I too went to Carleton but decades before you did lol. Graduated in 1982. My husband and I moved to the Cayo in October 2020, 2 days after the airport re-opened from Covid lockdowns. We are both ex-military and I figured we would be ok wherever we landed. We were and we are. Home can be a state of mind.
Absolutely loved this, Simo — and I think you nailed it: commitment is a huge part of what makes a place feel like home.
But it also made me think about the flip side: those stories you sometimes hear (and maybe even live) where someone steps off a plane somewhere for the first time and immediately feels like they’re home — even before they've built anything there.
Just offering another layer to the conversation. Maybe home is both a feeling and an act. Sometimes it’s a knowing that comes first, and sometimes it’s the decision to stay and root yourself that makes it real.
Either way, I really resonated with your reflection — thank you for putting it into words so beautifully. I'm honoured to have inspired this piece!
P.S. Fellow Carleton alum right here! Grad class of '02. When did you graduate?
OMG silly me! I actually was thinking the year I graduated high school. I actually graduated in '06 too! That's so funny. What was your major? I was Journalism.
Thanks Karen. I appreciate you reading and sharing it. I'm glad you found value in it. It's funny how you can have a hidden opinion about something. I didn't know how I felt or what I thought about this concept until @Kaila Krayewski’s prompt.
I didn't go to Carleton, because it didn't really feel like home to me. (Just kidding—though I really didn't go there. I hope I can comment anyway.) I enjoyed this piece, Simo, and I thank you for adding another dimension to the discussion of home, which is obviously a topic that all of us who have moved struggle with.
I like the idea that home means commitment, but would ask whether commitment automatically leads to a sense of home. I have known people who married someone who they didn't really feel good about being tethered to, only to leave years later. I imagine that such relationships don't feel like home.
I think that maybe love should enter into the picture—when we really love a place (or a person), it is easier to commit. To love a person, in my view, is to be willing to make sacrifices for that person's well-being. Maybe the same can be said of love for a place. The hard work that you have done on your house, the hard work that you have put into raising your children, is all an expression of love, of wanting things to work out well. And when we feel that we are achieving that, maybe we feel a sense of home.
Hi Gregory, thank you for reading my piece and leaving such a thoughtful comment. I suppose commitment doesn't automatically lead to a sense of home, but I do feel it is a crucial first step. And, as someone in a second marriage, I agree with your analogy and concur that such a relationship does not feel like home.
While I only hinted at my thoughts on a longer-term commitment to a particular place (in a footnote at the end of the post), I recognize that commitments can change. Although I am coming to call Belize home, it will likely not be a 'forever home.' The winds of change will inevitably push my family and me in another direction; there is just too much world out there to be tethered to one place forever!
Indeed, love is an essential aspect of commitment, but again, I feel commitment comes first. To fall in love with someone, we must make some degree of commitment beforehand, even if it's as simple as agreeing to go on a date to get to know them. But, perhaps that's too simplistic.
What a tricky concept to pin down, eh? There are many angles to explore, threads to pull, and meanings to parse out. What a great topic of discussion!
I enjoyed this, thanks. I too went to Carleton but decades before you did lol. Graduated in 1982. My husband and I moved to the Cayo in October 2020, 2 days after the airport re-opened from Covid lockdowns. We are both ex-military and I figured we would be ok wherever we landed. We were and we are. Home can be a state of mind.
Thanks for reading, Joanne. Very cool, what a small world.
Indeed, it can; what a complex issue to ponder.
Absolutely loved this, Simo — and I think you nailed it: commitment is a huge part of what makes a place feel like home.
But it also made me think about the flip side: those stories you sometimes hear (and maybe even live) where someone steps off a plane somewhere for the first time and immediately feels like they’re home — even before they've built anything there.
Just offering another layer to the conversation. Maybe home is both a feeling and an act. Sometimes it’s a knowing that comes first, and sometimes it’s the decision to stay and root yourself that makes it real.
Either way, I really resonated with your reflection — thank you for putting it into words so beautifully. I'm honoured to have inspired this piece!
P.S. Fellow Carleton alum right here! Grad class of '02. When did you graduate?
That's a great perspective too! It's such a hard concept to pin down; multifaceted. Thanks so much for your invitation to participate.
Oh no way! I graduated in 2006.
OMG silly me! I actually was thinking the year I graduated high school. I actually graduated in '06 too! That's so funny. What was your major? I was Journalism.
Oh crazy. So exact same year! I majored in history (international history concentration)
Neat! Small world. 🌍
indeed!
Love this Simo! Such an important point about what makes a place into a home. I learned a lot from this thoughtful essay. 🙌
Thanks Karen. I appreciate you reading and sharing it. I'm glad you found value in it. It's funny how you can have a hidden opinion about something. I didn't know how I felt or what I thought about this concept until @Kaila Krayewski’s prompt.
I love that about Substack - feels like we are all in a collaborative conversation exploring similar concepts. 😊
So true!
Yes! I love it too!
Oh I’m so honoured to have inspired this :)