Failure is a perspective.
When my wife and I moved to Central America, we didn't know how it would turn out. People at home thought we were crazy, and they told us horror stories about people who crashed and burned after moving abroad. We decided to leave Canada because we felt an uncontrollable pull to action that was so intense we couldn't leave the proverbial stone unturned. We knew we would have significant regrets if we did not attempt to fulfill the desire, and we didn’t want to be left wondering for the rest of our lives, “Could we have made it work?”
Before we left, we told ourselves that no matter what happened, even if we returned home broke with our hat in our hands, we wouldn't consider it a failure. If it didn't work out, we promised to look at the result as “just the natural flow of events,” which would inevitably lead to somewhere; undoubtedly, to new endeavors.
We waxed theoretical with this thought experiment: Suppose we “failed” in Belize, but it pushed us somewhere else or into something new. You can never really know what life has in store, where endeavors will take you, or how they will turn out. So, suppose the post-Belize undertaking became a success; could we really then think of Belize as a failure?
I have a “failed marriage,” but it led me to my current wife and the love of my wife. What was once regret for so many years lost in a loveless marriage I now see as a necessary waiting period: the time it took for us to reunite (we knew each other as camp counselors in high school and crushed on each other). Without that “failed” marriage who knows when or if we would have met again? So, following that same logic, if we failed in Belize but succeeded afterward, was any of it an actual failure? Or were the interim periods (my previous marriage and the theoretical failure in Belize) stepping stones to success?
I now live by this logic, and it has changed my life. I no longer think of anything as a failure. At the very most, I say “such-and-such-a-thing isn't working out right now. There is only success and adjustment. If you try something that doesn't work, even if you abandon the initiative altogether, you are simply adjusting that initial plan. We inherently learn from errors and mistakes, and there is no knowing at the time of abandoning that the lessons learned from it won't be applicable in a future endeavor. If that's the case, the perceived failure of the abandoned initiative becomes instrumental in the new effort, flipping what you previously perceived as a failure into a success.
Everyone is so afraid of failure. I see it in the community of foreigners where I live in Belize. There is a stigma around going back home. You feel like you have to chain yourself to your decision to move here, like some gambler trapped in a sunk cost fallacy. You are allowed to change your mind. Who cares if such-and-such-a-thing didn't work out? It inevitably leads to something new. So, on to the next thing!
I love this new mentality. It makes me less scared of trying new things because I don't fear failure. I can’t lose! I can only succeed or adjust my efforts until I do. I am free to do what I please, and I'll work with and adapt to any outcomes that arise from my efforts, whether others perceive them as positive or not. Now, the question arises: do you care what other people think? If so, you shouldn’t, but I’ll get into that in another post.